I feel like I'm in a Daze. I feel like I am on the outside looking in on my life and watching it, but I can't respond. I have so much on my mind right now. I am really stressed out, I can't sleep and I feel unresponsive. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts when I got off work, that I drove all the way home before I realized that I forgot to pick my baby up from daycare. The weird thing is that last week I forgot to pick my 7yr old from school. I don't know what is going on with myself, it's like I can't snap back to manual drive, like I'm stuck on auto drive. The last week has been like I'm here but not.
Any way on a brighter note my baby girl figured out about 3 weeks ago that she can pick her nose. Tonight she decided to see what they tasted like. Gross!! After she saw my reaction she kept on doing it. Can you say barf. They do the darnedest things and when they get a cool reaction from you they keep on doing it. Like when she learned that her finger fit in her nose and she smeared boogers all over her face, nose, and ears. She tries to pick my too!
Last night my older daughter and I got into an argument which she always over dramatizes. She is a true Drama Queen. I told her over and over to finish eating her dinner, she would just sit and pick and then she would get distracted and start playing. I gave her 3 chances to eat and each time I told her if she didn't then she would go to bed without finishing. She must not have believed me until I sent her to bed. Then came the okay I'll eat and I had to tell her no. I stood my ground and sent her to bed. Ohh she cried and screamed and started throwing a fit and I made her go to her room. Before I knew it she was screaming at the top of her lungs and kicking my floor. It sounded like she was gonna fall through the ceiling. The last time I had to do that she kicked a hole in my closet door and her bedroom door. I tell you sometimes I just don't know what I am gonna do with her. I love her but most days it is so hard dealing with her. I have to leave the room to recoup but she follows me and she just doesn't stop. I even step outside and she will follow me. She makes it hard to calm myself down. I do manage to do it, but only after I force her to stay in her room usually by scaring her. I hate it, but I don't know what else to do? She is constantly just crying and caring on and in my face. I just wish that when things got to that point, to where I needed a break, that she would just stay in her room until I'm ready to talk to her. Kid don't do that though. She gets herself so worked up to the point to where she is crying uncontrollably and hyperventilating. I have to try and calm her down before she pukes or passes out, and when I'm so angry it is hard to do. Oh but I love her so much. She is still my pride and joy no matter what she does or how angry I get. My brothers think that I should spank her, only it doesn't work and she would get it all of the time if I did. They just don't understand how to deal with a child with her type of disability. A child with ADHD and ODD who also suffers from anxiety need a different approach to discipline that other children. I am trying to learn new ways then what I have been doing because I am not getting far and I don't like battling it out with her. What works for one child won't always work for another, especially if they have a disability like mine or worse than mine. I am just glad that all my baby does right now is turn the TV on and off and the whole picking of the nose and eating it thing. It makes my job easier. I don't look forward to the teenage years if I can't keep her in line now. I am seeking help so I hope that it works. Cross your fingers and wish me luck.
Until next time have a good day.

It's has been a long time.

It has been a very long time since I had a chance to get back to blogging. I have been very busy this past year. I was pregnant the last time I had a chance to write and well guess what? I gave birth to my second child ( a little girl) on Dec. 18th 2007. I had a rough pregnancy. I was in constant pain pretty much all over. It was because I was so over weight. It didn't help that I have high blood pressure too. Through it all I managed to have a healthy baby girl. I have been very busy and I forgot about what I enjoy doing when I have free time to myself, blogging. My older child keeps me on my toes and drives me crazy in the process. She has ADHD, ODD, and she suffers from anxiety. Let me tell you she is quite the handful and I add a new bundle of joy into my life and everything keeps me on my toes. I love my children and I wouldn't trade them for the world. It wasn't easy for me to bring them into this world but it was always fun to make them. I enjoy watching them grow and learn new things. Even when I get so frustrated I have to remember that one day I'm gonna miss this. They will grow up and eventually they will start their own lives, I just hope to be there for them when they do. Help out when they need it. So many times I think I just can't wait until they grow up, why do they color on my walls, I talk and its like talking to a wall, in one ear and out the other. The back talking, crying, screaming, laughing, smiling, timeouts. It can be overwhelming at times, but I know one day I'll miss this. I am proud to be a parent. I couldn't picture my life any other way. I would be lost without them. Hey some people don't want kids I say hey that's your choice and it doesn't bother me. It's your life do what you like. I just can't stand the people who have them when they want nothing to do with them or abuse them. I say if you really did want your kids then you should have kept your legs closed or given them up for adoption. There are plenty of couples who would like to have children and can't or who would like more than one and can't. Those people bother me. The weird thing is they keep having them. I am blessed to have my children and if you have any I believe you should feel the same way. They don't stay little for long and before you know it there gone living their lives. Then you'll look back and miss it too.
Until next time.

Good things do happen to good people.

My best friend Christie had an unfortunate thing happen to her. On July 4th,2007 there had been some pretty heavy rain in our area. Christie, along with 20+ families had to face the devastating effects that the rain brought early that morning. Like so many people Christie woke up to find her basement flooded with water.
I find it hard to understand why this happen to all of these families. They are all located on top of a hill so the water should have traveled down the hill instead of in their basements. I also noticed the road construction that had been going on right next to her home. They were supposed to be resurfacing the top of the street. I noticed the day before the big storm that the construction company's crew members had torn apart the storm drains and were doing some kind of work on them. All I know is that the letter that all the residents received before the road work stated that the work should take approx. 1wk. It has been over a month. To our surprise we found out that there was alot of debris in the storm drains all along the road being worked on, stuff that shouldn't have been there in the 1st place. I asked her in all of the years that she lived in her house did it ever flood at all? She said no. So I told her that it might not just be an act of nature, that someone else might be to blame. For example the construction company or even the City. As it turns out her neighbors all feel the same too.
Poor Christie, she had the worst of it in her basement. She got over 4ft. of water in her basement. All of her personal items and pictures she was saving were all ruined. Stuff that you just can't replace. Baby photos, cherished pictures, memories from the last 15yrs of her life ruined, gone. Washer, Dryer gone. Everything down there just completely destroyed.
Since that devastating day she has been a complete wreck. She has no way of really getting back what she lost. She rents the house she lives in and the landlord didn't have flood coverage included in the house's insurance. So Christie can't even get compensated for her loss. I really feel that it was the construction companies fault for every ones damage. I hope she gets something from all of this. She is a single mother trying to make it on her own and raise a wonderful little boy who doesn't understand why some of his toys and clothes got ruined. This has been such a difficult time for her and her son, and it really has taken a toll on them. She had to miss a lot of work in order to clean out the basement for the landlord, who of all people only made things worse for her. At one point the landlord said that she should not of had so much stuff in the basement. She was very upset with Christie because there was so much stuff that the landlord had to pay to have a special removal. She was in such a hurry to clean up the stuff and get rid of it that she started throwing Christies stuff out even the stuff that was salvageable. She even had the nerve to curse her out and disrespect Christie, and tell her she had to move. I understand the landlord's frustration with everything, but Christie lost more stuff, than the landlord, things nobody can replace. Eventually the landlord apologized for her own actions but it doesn't take back the mental anguish that she bestowed on her. Christie didn't deserve to be treated so cruelly. She was so depressed that she actually thought about taking her own life. With the loss of her belongings and the mental anguish, it was all becoming too much to handle. I did my best to be there for her in her time of need, I wanted to help out more, but she wouldn't let me since I'm pregnant. I did made it a point to be there for her,and to try and lift her spirits and keep her mind off of the bad thoughts. I feel like I helped. Today Christie was very depressed because she has exhausted all of her savings and was finding it hard to make ends meet, but out of the blue an angel came to her rescue and helped her in a way I could not. She received a phone call from the Dispatch, a local newspaper company and they told her that a man heard about her story and wanted to help her specifically. He gave a cash donation and told her that he hopes it helps her until she gets something from the insurance company either from the construction company or the city or both. Only time will tell, she may not get nothing. He wanted to remain anonymous, I believe that the bank said that if she wanted to thank this mystery she could give it to them and they would see to it that he received her appreciation and thanks.
She never expected that anyone would help her and she never asked for any charity of any kind, but this donation couldn't have come at a better time for her and her son, it will help her tremendously. She received $500. from this person and is eternally grateful. She wishes that she could meet this person, to tell him face to face how much he just helped her and her son. Since she can't she will send him her thanks, she respects his need for privacy. I'm just so happy that there are people out there like this person willing to give what they can to help someone out in their time of need. If anybody needed the help the most it was Christie. I wish I could thank him as well, he helped in a way that I couldn't and I am grateful too.
So if your out there and you happen to read my blog then you know who you are and we send our thanks and appreciation out to you. Thanks for your help, you made such an incredible difference. Words can't truly explain how thankful they are.

Lazy Days

Well in the past few days I have been real lazy lately. I haven't really wanted to do any thing. I feel like such a bad parent. I have even bee slacking around the house. It's not bad but still I can do better. I am just so tired all of the time and I just sleep. I guess this is normal for when your pregnant, I just remember having more energy when I was pregnant with my daughter. I am not even that old. I am only 26 yrs. old. Well I haven't been sleeping that well, I feel like I should move my bed into my bathroom since I am in it practically 90% of the time. At least it feels that way. I am very thank full that my daughter has been so understanding with me. It is actually quite surprising since she is stuck inside most of the time and she is only 6yrs old. She does talk me into playing games with her since I won't let her play outside when I can't be out there to supervise her. She seems to think that she can play out there by herself, but I say no. Really she is still to young to be out by herself and have no adult supervision. My luck she would go home with a stranger if I wasn't out there with her. Or she would get beat up by the other kids because she has this I don't want to share thing with other peoples toys including her own toys. Well kids will be kids. So far this week I have been blessed with rain so she can't ask to play outside. I do plan on taking her out to the park and swimming this weekend so hopefully she won't be too disappointed in me. Well I will quit complaining and I will talk to you all later so in the mean time take care.

Boring weekend.

I had a pretty boring weekend, I really didn't do that much. I worked some extra hours but really I did nothing. My friend Brenda took me to see the Backwater Gamblers. It is a water show, where they do tricks on water skis. I didn't really get to enjoy it because I am not feeling the best. It's this whole pregnancy thing. I have a lot of pregnancy issues. Nothing serious just what you would expect and it is making me very uncomfortable. Tell you the truth I forgot what it felt like since it has been 7yrs since I have been pregnant. Hopefully I will feel better enough to do something fun with my daughter this week and this weekend. Well I don't really have much else to talk about that isn't complaining like a sissy. So until next time take care and have a good day.

Nothing new... maybe a little new.

I really don't have much to say. I had and ultrasound on 7-9-07, the baby is doing very well. It is just growing like it should be. I am almost 15 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I can feel it move too. All I feel is fluttering and little nudges from the inside, I can't wait until you can see it move through my abdomen. On a different subject my job at Lowe's is gone after the 13th, they are cutting hours and a lot of people are getting laid off. Well I am cool with it. I knew that the job was seasonal and that it can go at any time. I still have my other job at Help At Home Inc. All I need to do is just ask for more hours. I kept this job just for the whole lay off reason. I needed to stay employed continuously. Plus I didn't want to go through the whole rehire process and lose my pay that I earned over the years. I have been given more hours to start next week so I am glad that I won't be losing too much money. Well I will quit boring you all and I will talk to you all next time. So I hope that you have a wonderful day in the mean time.

My scary lunch encounter.

Today 2 of my friends and I went to the Olive Garden for lunch to eat their unlimited soup, salad and bread sticks. I had been begging my friends to go there for our work lunch for 2 weeks and we finally went. Everything was going great, our waitress was a little slow but she had a lot of other customers to tend to. I was eating the rest of my bread stick and I felt a hard crunch on my teeth. For a minute I thought that may be for some reason I might have chipped my tooth on the bread stick. Don't ask me why I thought this, I am pretty stupid when I am pregnant; well that is how I feel all of the time. Anyway I pull it out of my mouth and went to wipe it on one of my plates when it poked me almost cutting my finger. So I took a closer look and it and realized that it was a small piece of glass. So I left the table and went to one of the associates that seats you when you enter. They asked my where I was sitting and got the manager for me. While I was sitting and waiting I found another piece on the table with the crumbs from the bread sticks. I showed the manager both pieces, and I showed her which one I pulled from out of my mouth. She asked me if I got cut at all. I said no, but I kept feeling around in my mouth for more pieces and she would keep asking me if I got cut. I said I wonder how many pieces I might have ate before I found that one. One of my friends Christie said, Hey she is very concerned because she is pregnant. I said yes it's true and that can't be good if I ate any. The manager gave us all our lunch for free and she gave us new salad plates and me a $30 gift card. When I got my new plate I freaked out because I thought that there was more of the glass on my plate but my friend and the waiter told me that it was ice because they freeze their salad plates. Thank god it was just ice, I really couldn't eat much after that because I was too nervous and scared. It is just terrible that our lunch ended the way that it did, at least I didn't get hurt, and I hope that I didn't eat any more pieces without realizing because I don't want to hurt my unborn baby. I'm sure I'll be fine. Well until next time have a great day!