I feel like I'm in a Daze. I feel like I am on the outside looking in on my life and watching it, but I can't respond. I have so much on my mind right now. I am really stressed out, I can't sleep and I feel unresponsive. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts when I got off work, that I drove all the way home before I realized that I forgot to pick my baby up from daycare. The weird thing is that last week I forgot to pick my 7yr old from school. I don't know what is going on with myself, it's like I can't snap back to manual drive, like I'm stuck on auto drive. The last week has been like I'm here but not.
Any way on a brighter note my baby girl figured out about 3 weeks ago that she can pick her nose. Tonight she decided to see what they tasted like. Gross!! After she saw my reaction she kept on doing it. Can you say barf. They do the darnedest things and when they get a cool reaction from you they keep on doing it. Like when she learned that her finger fit in her nose and she smeared boogers all over her face, nose, and ears. She tries to pick my too!
Last night my older daughter and I got into an argument which she always over dramatizes. She is a true Drama Queen. I told her over and over to finish eating her dinner, she would just sit and pick and then she would get distracted and start playing. I gave her 3 chances to eat and each time I told her if she didn't then she would go to bed without finishing. She must not have believed me until I sent her to bed. Then came the okay I'll eat and I had to tell her no. I stood my ground and sent her to bed. Ohh she cried and screamed and started throwing a fit and I made her go to her room. Before I knew it she was screaming at the top of her lungs and kicking my floor. It sounded like she was gonna fall through the ceiling. The last time I had to do that she kicked a hole in my closet door and her bedroom door. I tell you sometimes I just don't know what I am gonna do with her. I love her but most days it is so hard dealing with her. I have to leave the room to recoup but she follows me and she just doesn't stop. I even step outside and she will follow me. She makes it hard to calm myself down. I do manage to do it, but only after I force her to stay in her room usually by scaring her. I hate it, but I don't know what else to do? She is constantly just crying and caring on and in my face. I just wish that when things got to that point, to where I needed a break, that she would just stay in her room until I'm ready to talk to her. Kid don't do that though. She gets herself so worked up to the point to where she is crying uncontrollably and hyperventilating. I have to try and calm her down before she pukes or passes out, and when I'm so angry it is hard to do. Oh but I love her so much. She is still my pride and joy no matter what she does or how angry I get. My brothers think that I should spank her, only it doesn't work and she would get it all of the time if I did. They just don't understand how to deal with a child with her type of disability. A child with ADHD and ODD who also suffers from anxiety need a different approach to discipline that other children. I am trying to learn new ways then what I have been doing because I am not getting far and I don't like battling it out with her. What works for one child won't always work for another, especially if they have a disability like mine or worse than mine. I am just glad that all my baby does right now is turn the TV on and off and the whole picking of the nose and eating it thing. It makes my job easier. I don't look forward to the teenage years if I can't keep her in line now. I am seeking help so I hope that it works. Cross your fingers and wish me luck.
Until next time have a good day.